Unsaid
by HJT
Summary: Oneshot. Nikolas comes to see Emily on her and Sonny's wedding day.


A/N: I own nothing! Please read and review.

Unsaid

Patiently, Nikolas waited outside of Emily's bridal room. He had never been more nervous in his life. Not even on their wedding day.

Hearing signs that someone was about to open the door, Nikolas ran around the corner and peeked back around cautiously. It looked like Elizabeth and Sam, the matron of honor and brides maid respectively, were leaving, meaning Emily must be alone.

As quickly as he could, he went back to where he'd been standing and knocked at the door before entering the room. There she stood in her wedding dress, her back to him. He was surprised to see she wasn't wearing white this time. Maybe she did that to show their marriage had meant something and couldn't be duplicated. What was he thinking? Of course it did, at least to her. He'd been the only one who pretended otherwise.

"Did you forget something," Emily asked her back still to him.

"Yeah, sort of."

She wheeled around in surprise.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"W-what are you doing here," she asked.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," he replied trying to sound casual.

"Oh, okay," Emily nodded and started going about adding the finishing touches to her appearance. "Well as you see I'm doing…okay."

"Yeah you are," Nikolas laughed a little to himself. He didn't say anything for a few minutes. When he did, he broke the uncomfortable silence with what he really came to say, "I'm sorry."

"What?" Emily almost dropped the brush in her hand from the shock of what he just said.

"I never really said it before, but I am. I'm so sorry."

Again they were silent for moment before Emily tried to reassure him.

"You don't need to be. Everything that happened between us-"

"Please don't say it was meant to happen," Nikolas said almost begging.

"But it's true," Emily insisted. "Look at where we are now. You're happy with Courtney…I'm starting a new life with Sonny, Michael and Morgan…Going our separate ways was the best thing for both of us."

"Yeah. Yeah you're right. But I am sorry about the way everything went ended. It was-"

"Nikolas it wasn't your fault. It was both of us."

He laughed again and said, "You're still trying to be the bigger person, even after all that's happened."

"I'm just telling the truth," Emily replied simply.

Yet again, Nikolas couldn't help but laugh but this time he didn't comment.

They stood in silence once more, with him looking at the ground and her checking and adjusting her dress in the mirror. He never looked up but her eyes were never off of him for more then a moment, even if they only stayed there for a second.

Again, Nikolas was the one to break the silence.

"Well…I guess I said what I came to say," he said awkwardly. With that he turned to leave, but then stopped. Half jokingly he turned back to her and asked, "Am I too late to stop you from going through with this?"

"Yeah," Emily smiled back at him, "but only by a few minutes."

They both laughed for a longer time then was necessary. Nikolas didn't know when her laughter turned into tears. All that mattered was that it did. Instinctively, he moved to comfort her. Then, remembering where they were and what she was about to do, he stopped.

_I have no right_, he realized.

"Why?" Emily demanded through sobs. "Why did you have to come here? Now of all times? Couldn't you have-"

She didn't finish.

"I-I'm sorry," Nikolas stammered. "I shouldn't have come."

He started to leave again, but she stopped him.

"You just had to ruin this day for me didn't you?" Emily demanded angrily swiping away tears. "You could have told me this yesterday, a week ago, anytime before- before now. But no, you had to come today? Now? Minutes before my wedding? If you were trying to make this harder for me then it already was- Well you succeeded."

"Emily, no, I didn't- I could never," but he couldn't finish.

Maybe he had come specifically for that purpose. Maybe secretly he did want to stop it before happened. But no, he was with Courtney. They were happy together, very happy together. He had no reason to want to stop that wedding.

"I know you wouldn't do that," she said suddenly, interrupting his train of thought. "I'm- I'm just a little nervous. I'm sorry I bit your head off there."

She was smiling again. This time it was a forced smile, like the one she had that night on the pier when they said good-bye and she had kissed him on the cheek. Nikolas had to keep fighting off his instinct to hold her, comfort her, to somehow stop the pain she was going through, but he couldn't. He went to Emily and would have put his arms around her but she stopped him.

"Don't," she said with mock playfulness. "You'll wrinkle my dress."

"Emily…"

"I better go soon. I wonder what time it is. Can you believe it? I'm going to be a wife again. I'm so nervous. This time I won't just be a wife. I'll be a mother. Or should I say step-mom? I don't know why I'm so nervous, it's not like I haven't been playing there mother for a while now months. This will just make it official. You know Carly still feels threatened. She has no reason to be. Those boys love her so much…"

"Yeah but they love you too. They must have been looking forward to today for a while," Nikolas said with a conversational tone.

"That's the biggest surprise of all. Michael's wanted his parents back together forever," Emily tried to match his tone. "You know what he said yesterday? He told me I was one of the best things in his life."

"That's not surprising. You've been one of the only constants in his life. You were there for him when his mother and father couldn't be."

"Yeah," she said as though she were deeply in thought. "Those boys really ne-really, really mean a lot to me."

"I know."

"They do, they really do," Emily said. By the way she was looking at him, staring him straight in the eyes, Nikolas got the impression that she was trying to convince him or both of them of something. "Right now I'm in the best place I can possibly be in, for everybody."

"Everybody?" he asked surprised. "Shouldn't this be about you and Sonny?"

"I'm not just marrying him, I'm marrying Michael and Morgan too," Emily insisted. "When I said yes I didn't just say it to him, I said it to all three of them. The boys were there too. All three of them went down on one knee and asked me together."

All through the conversation Emily had been putting on an appearance of happiness that Nikolas could see right through.

"It was so cute!" she continued on. "You should have seen it. Oh! Well I guess not."

And she was laughing again and just like last time she dissolved into tears. This time when Nikolas went to hold her she didn't fight him. She just let him and eventually returned the embrace.

Proving fate loved torturing her favorites the two were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Em?" called Elizabeth from the other side.

"Yeah," Emily yelled back.

"You okay in there? The wedding is about to start."

"I'll be right there."

After making sure he heard Elizabeth's footsteps fading, Nikolas turned back to Emily with a questioning look.

"I- I b-better- better go," she stammered.

"Yeah you better, they might start without you," he replied feebly.

"Stop it, I'll start crying again. I already look like a mess." Then turning towards the mirror she started whipping off her make-up and then reapplying it.

While she was doing this Nikolas kept thinking he should leave but couldn't bring himself too. He had to be there just to say good-bye before she left him for good…

He had done it again.

It was irritating for him to have to keep reminding himself that he was the one who had done the leaving and that it had been all for the best. Just look how happy they both were…

Realizing that if he stayed any longer, he would be the one in need of comfort, Nikolas hastened to the door and opened it.

"Wait!" Emily called after him.

"You were right I shouldn't have come," he said. "I should have just left you alone."

"No…"

"Well, the next time I'll see you, you'll be walking down the isle and looking more beautiful then you were even at our wedding."

"Thanks."

"I mean it, you get more-" he decided not to finish that.

As Nikolas looked at her from the door way he couldn't resist going back to her and doing one last thing before letting her go for good. Wordlessly he walked across the room to where she stood and leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

He pulled away and looked her in her now watery eyes.

"Good luck," he whispered. "Sonny and his boys are lucky to have you."

"And I'm lucky to have them," she replied, giving him a sad smile. "We all need each other."

Finally, Nikolas was able to leave the room but the next time he saw Emily wasn't as she walked down the isle. He wasn't strong enough for that.


End file.
